This morning in bed, my husband and I were discussing the next phase of mum’s care – she’s 92, still living independently in a Retirement Village – because we underpin everything – but teetering on the edge now, of everything falling in a heap.

Key, and a common behaviour of people living with dementia, is that she isn’t showering and washing her hair regularly.

By last Sunday her hair was so bad that I decided it HAD to be washed.

We tried every witch-way to encourage, cajole and humour her into the shower, but what ensued was 30 minutes of tears, abuse and just horrible, horrible, horrible for both of us!!

Ultimately, there was an absolute refusal to get in the shower, so if I was to wash her hair, it was the sink or nothing.

I remember a friend telling me about 12 months ago that she had gone over to her mum’s and physically picked her up and got in the shower with her – clothes and all for both of them!

Seemed kind of funny at the time – not so much now.

So this morning, as we lay in bed pondering what’s working and what isn’t; what we can manage with help, and what we can’t, showering and that whole personal care issue was the sticking point, and if we can’t get that into better shape, then the inevitable result of higher care.

In an effort to get some help, we googled “how do I get my mother to take a shower” and got just a brilliant (and humorous) article which is well worth a read. ​

If they’re being sneaky, we need to be sneakier!!

Check it out

Who do you know that’s just not managing the day to day because of memory problems?

Whether it’s because of dementia, an acquired brain injury or a mental illness – the result is stress and worry for individuals and for families and carers.

We can help!

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